


Yesterday and Today

by SegaBarrett



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Light BDSM, PTSD, father/son bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/pseuds/SegaBarrett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after the finale, Jesse tries to go on a date...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yesterday and Today

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Breaking Bad, and I make no money from this.
> 
> A/N: Spoilers for "Granite State". Written for this prompt on the Breaking Bad Kink Meme: http://brbakinkmeme.livejournal.com/521.html?thread=146441#t146441

“Are you sure you’ll be fine here on your own?”

Brock Cantillo Pinkman raises an eyebrow and laughed.

“Thirteen, Jesse. I’m thirteen. I’ll be fine. I promise…” He raises his hand and started to tick off his fingers. “Not to watch any porn, to have any girls over, or to burn the house down. You… go have your date. It’s been five years. She seems… nice.”

Jesse drags a hand over his face.

“But Brock, I mean, is this okay… I mean…”

“Jesse,” Brock tips his head to the side and lets out a little whine. “I told you four times it was okay. I don’t feel like you’re replacing Mom. Go have your hot date. If you don’t leave now I’m going to miss Walking Dead.”

“Okay, okay,” Jesse relents. He reaches up into his collar and adjusts it, trying to hide a stubborn scar that he hadn’t been able to get to fade. 

“One last thing,” Brock says. 

“Yeah?”

Brock reaches up and hugs him. 

“Go get ‘em, Jesse.”

***

Erica is a pretty young woman in her late twenties, with curly black hair and soft green eyes. She works at the Sovereign Bank up the street from where Jesse and Brock live. 

They sit in a coffee shop and talk. There are a lot of things that Jesse can’t tell her, so he sticks to the most mundane things – that he likes to draw, and where he’d come from, and what he’d been doing the past five years.

Mostly he finds himself talking about Brock. She brings him up first.

“So, not to get over-personal, but… so… do you have full custody or…?”

“Yeah,” Jesse explains. “His mother… passed away five years ago…” _Pretty Andrea with her soft black hair and big brown eyes. Andrea’s touch, her smile, her laugh… Andrea’s tombstone, marking only twenty-three years lived. Andrea falling…_

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Erica tells him, and a chill runs up Jesse’s back.

“Yeah,” he says, “Thanks.” His throat is dry and he orders another cup of coffee. He’s starting to not feel it, but she’s not to blame, she couldn’t have known that phrase… Maybe it’s still too soon even five years later. 

But she’s pretty and kind and so… so normal. When he finally regains his footing, she laughs at his jokes and it’s obvious she likes him, she thinks he’s cute and there seems to be some novelty in the thirty-year-old single guy with the thirteen-year-old son. Maybe she thinks he’s future father material even though he’s been flying blind since the day he adopted Brock, since the day he’d taken the broken eight-year-old kid out of foster care and brought him home to a new city and a desperate new start.

They end up going back to her place, a nice little apartment that looks so very normal, with potted plants in the window and a big white chest of drawers in the corner of her bedroom.

“So, what are you into, Jesse?” Erica asks with a laugh. He blushes and admits that maybe he doesn’t know.

“I have an idea. Lay down on the bed and take off your shirt.”

Jesse eagerly complies. The way she’s looking at him stirs something in him, makes him want her now, want her bad. He wants to touch her soft black hair and bury his face in it, kiss her lips and feel the sweetness radiate off of them, rub against her and let himself let go. 

She leaves the room and comes back with a handful of four black scarves.

“Was thinking I’d tie you up…”

Jesse’s pulse starts racing and he doesn’t know whether it’s good or bad. He tries to push back his doubts and reminds himself he’s safe, that this girl is sweet and normal and harmless and gentle. That if he really had to get away, he could shove off all one hundred pounds of her and make a break for it without hurting her or himself.

She slips the first scarf around his arm and binds him to the headboard, and he gives a shaking smile.

“Wow… kinky, huh?”

She licks her lips.

“Oh, but very.”

Then there’s the next, leaving his bare chest open for her to stroke her fingers over, to play with his nipples.

_Andrea._

He shakes away the thought. 

The soft scarves are nothing like the metal chain that surrounded him, that held him up and pulled hard against his skin, leaving scars that never healed, and the girl tying him is nothing like Todd with his too-calm eyes and his creepy smile.

The feeling of her fingers against his bare skin is good, and he moans.

“Erica… Yeah.”

She playfully slaps him across the face, not hard enough to hurt.

“Shush,” she teases, “If you keep talking, I’m going to have to gag you.”

_The back of the car… The car… The gag… He’s trying to warn her but he can’t. He’s trying to scream but he can’t._

_“Jesse’s in the truck.”_

_“Where?”_

_Bang…_

_“Remember, there’s still the kid.”_

Jesse thrusts back his head and screams.

***

Jesse is wringing his hands so hard that he might break them as he gets out of his car and gets to the front door, putting his hand in his pocket and retrieving his keys. He’s still shaking, and the car ride home was a blur, lots of apologies and clumsily trying to dry the tears from his face.

He doesn’t want to be a wreck when he gets in the house. Brock doesn’t need that.

When he finally gets the door open, when the stubborn lock finally turns, he slips inside and takes off his coat, placing it on the little stand between the door and the TV.

Brock’s footfalls emerge from the staircase. 

“How’d your date go?”

Jesse tries to hide what’s written all over his face and fails horribly.

“That well, huh?”

Jesse opens his mouth to try and say something, to alleviate Brock’s concern, to put some kind of PC spin on it where they just weren’t that compatible but it’s useless because Brock knows, Brock has always known.

“Hey Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“The Howard Stern movie’s on. It looks pretty interesting. I’m already done my homework, you want to watch it with me?”

Jesse rubs a hand over his face and wipes away some of the tears before he can speak.

“Yeah.” His voice catches in his throat. “Let’s watch that movie, Brock.”


End file.
